It has been a long year. Six months is a long time for not writing a post. For that, I’m sorry, but as I said, it’s been a long year. For many days, I wondered what would become of me. It was touch-and-go most of that time, and to an extent…still is. Yet, now I have a slightly better feeling where this may lead.
Photography has always been an important aspect in my life. However, I realize that for most of the time, I took it for granted. There was always that voice in the back of my mind that said, “oh, I can do that,” when I saw a beautiful photograph. I was trained by wonderful photographic teachers and an excellent portrait photographer. Whenever I pointed my camera towards a subject, I instinctively knew that it would be the perfect shot. It wasn’t long when I realized that I was just being cocky.
Yes, my images were good, but they could’ve been better. The thing was, I grew bored. At first, I thought it was the photography itself, but no. It was something else, life. Over the many years that I’ve felt like this, my life has been adrift under a cloudy sky. For so long, I didn’t have the good fortune of reacquiring my bearings. I was lost.
I’m a visually creative person. As a child, I would draw. Then in junior high school, I became a photographer which continued to senior high and college (school newspapers and yearbooks.) I miss working in a “real” darkroom, which lead me to my time as a professional darkroom technician at an awesome studio. I even did the retail gig as a photographic sales associate and store manager.
Then…life got in the way. It seems as we get older our dreams seem to lose traction. Thus, this was the beginning of my wanderings. There were times I thought I could “focus” my energies towards my photography, again. Yet, those were fleeting moments in time. If only it could stick this time. I want it so badly. Maybe…
Sherlock Holmes was right. My answers might be hiding right in front of me, being so obvious that I would be too embarrassed to admit it. I have to smile at that. 🙂
I’m not getting any younger, and the images from life that I want to capture won’t take themselves. It’s time for me to find the North Star, Polaris, and quit my wandering. Then, humbly pick up my camera, and never let it go!